7 Golden rules of life.....

GOOD DAY FOR ALL..................................

1st
Don't let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life.
Relationships work best when they are balanced.

2nd
Never explain yourself to anyone.
Because the person who likes you doesn't need it, and the person who d islikes you won't believe it.

3rd
When you keep saying you are busy, then you are never free.
When you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have time.
When you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow, then your tomorrow will never come.

4th
When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices.

Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams.
Choice is yours.

5th
We make them cry who care for us.
We cry for those who never care for us.
And we care for those who will never cry for us.
This is the truth of life, it's strange but true. Once you realize this, it's never too late to change.

6th
Don't make promise when you are in joy.
Don't reply when you are sad.
Don't take decision when you are angry.
Think twice, act twice.

7th
Time is like river. You can't touch the same water twice,
because the flow that has passed will never pass again.

Enjoy every moment of life.

A LETTER TO UR FAMILY !!!! NICE ONE ..

(This is my story, may be yours too,

A Letter not opened yet by an Expatriate )

Dear Father & mother : Today I am completed 5 years in the Gulf. I am decided to come at home next month. Within this 5 years, I have zero balance apart from clear out my visa expenses and availed one vacation before. Upon this vacation, I don’t like to return Gulf. I have sound health to do any manual job at home country.

Let me know your suggestion, Yours loving Jamal.

Dear Jamal, father writing : Received your letter and very happy to know about your vacation. Rest will continue your mother. Dear son, Do you know about the condition of our house? Rainy season, Nobody can to stay inside the house. Repair and maintence is very expensive with this old wooden items, All are suggesting to prefer a concrete house. Without home, do you know, there is no alternative. If you decided to stop Gulf, can you do this with your limited income?. I am just reminding this, you can decide what you like.

Yours loving mother.

Dear Mother, Now I am completed 10 years at this desert. I like to come home next month. Within these period, we rebuilt our house, and I completed all the related loans. Now I am planning to settle home and expecting to meet our day to day expenses by Taxi driving. I already fed up with this desert life. I wants to live with my kids. Let me know your suggestions. Yours loving Jamal.

Dear Jamal, Received your letter which is very regrettable when I read. My son started to suffer for us at his childhood. But one more thing I reminding you. Your sister Zainaba is aged more than 20. Did you have any arrangement or plan to get her marry. I have only one ambition, that is to die after her marriage. Don’t feel bad, I am not passing any burden to you,

you can decide yourself. Yours loving Mother

Dear Mother and Zuhara (wife), Now I am completed 14 years at this January. I fed up with this Gulf life. I can not continue more here. I am deciding to cancel my Visa. Within the last four years, we could arrange the marriage of Zainaba, which was done well with the help of Allah higher than our expectation, and paid out all expenses related to her marriage.

Also settled my other loans too. Now I am deciding to settle at home and start any job like light driving or similar. I cannot do any heavy work, because I have abnormal BP and Sugar. If I continue here, I am forced to pay all my salary for medical expenses, so it is better to continue any Unani treatment at home. Yours Jamal.

Dear Jamal, I shed much tears after reading your letter. Anyhow, my son, you don’t go back to Gulf any more. But Zuhra (wife) wants to write something. Dear my sweet, after our marriage, I am not requested anything from you, but now I am forced to ask something. After marriage of your brother Jalal, your mother is totally against me. Now your mother is depending his wife for everything. Also I heard, your mother is planning to give this house to your brother. If any dispute arises, where can we go with our kids If you are decided to settle home, can you possible to make a house for our own. Do you know the price of steel and Cement and labor charges, which is not affordable. I am just expressing my anxious, you can decide yourself.

Yours loving Zuhara.

• Dear Zuhara, Now I am completed 19 years at my gulf life. Within this last four years, we built a new house with my effort which is higher than your expectation. Now I have no balance, except the retirement benefit from the company, i.e. my final settlement around SR 25000/- Only that is my net balance. Anyhow turning back, I have satisfaction, I could done something for others. From now, I cannot continue here. Last 19 years, I could not understand what is a family life. Now I am deciding to settle home and I wants to live with you and children. This month last, I am retiring from my job, see you face to face, yours loving Jamal.

Dear my sweet loving: After reading your letter, I am very happy to know about your decision to discontinue the gulf life even you are late. But our son requested me to write one thing to you. He like to join Engineering course. He got an admission Card from Amritha Auto Engineering college, Coimbatore. First year needs to pay 4 Lakhs (SR 40000/-) then each year 3 lakhs each. No need to pay cash down at one stroke, they agreed installment payment. Students learning there are all expatriates sons. Fist installment must pay on or before this 30th.

Expecting your reply soon, Yours loving Zuhra.

He spent a sum more for the education of his son and to get marry his daughter, then now he completed 27 years. Now he is on the way to the Airport with his ultimate balance of Blood Sugar, Blood pressure, back pain and ulcer. On the way incidentally, he noticed a letter in his pocket , which he received from home, not opened yet.

That is the first letter he did not read in his Gulf life.

Can I Borrow R 25?

A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for her at the door.

SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?'

MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman.

SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the woman said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

MUM: 'If you must know, I make R 50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Mummy, may I please borrow R25?'

The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed.. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard every day for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door..

The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that R25.00 and she really didn't ask for money very often. The woman went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' She asked.

'No Mummy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the woman. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the R25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you Mummy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the mother grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Mummy, I have R50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The mother was crushed. She put his arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that R50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Please don't break this even if you only show it to one person.

Feel Boring

This is the word which I used these days very frequently. I have found out the reason why I use 'Boring' frequently. Now a days I don't find some matter to talk to my friends or anybody. I feel like I’m dumb. If there are only two persons present then it’s like hell ..... I start a conversation ..... it goes for two dialogues and then 'Silence' occupies. Many people are there .... we keep on kidding each other and the time goes by.

I think many people would have come across this disease. Could anyone suggest a suitable solution for it? Please ................

A Brilliant Interview....

Some, rather most organizations reject his CV today because he has changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the job hopper (referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it. well he does not need to mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the company loyal employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys the difference being the latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with Mr. JH: Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years? A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the second time. Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009? A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003 when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a year without job and with compromises. Q: Which number of job was that? A: That was my third job. Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years? A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to justify the saying employer loyalty. But I was an idiot. Q: Why do you say so? A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not save enough and also, I had thought that I had a permanent job, so I need not worry about what will I do if I lose my job. I could never imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my performance. That was January 2002. Q: Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009. A: Well, I had learnt my lessons of being company loyal and not money earning and saving loyal. But then you can save enough only when you earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and saving. I changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers about my stability. Q: So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day? A: Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies are hiring. You tell me can I get a job now because of the slowdown? No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford the expected salaries. Q: What have you gained by doing such things? A: That's the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed salary (without variables) of say Rs. X p.a. In January 2009, my salary was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003, my last drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without variable). I never bothered about variable as I had no intention to stay for 1 year and go through the appraisal process to wait for the company to give me a hike. Q: So you decided on your own hike? A: Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like it had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next slowdown would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a debt-free life before being laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly basis without waiting for the year to complete. Q: So are you debt-free now? A: Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent so little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq.. feet) plus a loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off too but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for money, it is OK if a company lays me off because of lack of money. Q: Who is complaining? A: All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do not have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were still in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off. Q: What is your advice to professionals? A: Like Narayan Murthy had said love your job and not your company because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company's needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money for the company, not the other way around. Q: What is your biggest pain point with companies? A: When a company does well, its CEO will address the entire company saying, well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard work, I am with you. But when the slowdown happens and the company does not do so well, the same CEO will say, It is MY company and to save the company, I have to take tough decisions including asking people to go. So think about your financial stability first; when you get laid off, your kids will complain to you and not your boss.

One Moment With Your Heart......

Life????

திருமணத்திற்கு முன்பு.....

ஒருவருக்கொருவர் நன்கு புரிந்து கொண்டுள்ளனர், ஒருவருக்கொருவர் விட்டுக் கொடுத்து, ஒத்த கருத்துக்களைக் கொண்டுள்ளனர், இவர்கள் நண்பர்களாகவோ அல்லது காதலர்களாகவோ இருக்கலாம்... ஒருவருக்கொருவர் பிடித்துள்ள காரணத்தினாலேயே இவர்கள் திருமணம் செய்து கொள்ளலாமா?
கூடாது. ஏன் தெரியுமா காதல் வேண்டுமானால் இந்த இருவரை மட்டுமே சம்பந்தப்படுத்தலாம். ஆனால் திருமணம் என்பது இவர்களது குடும்பத்தையும், இரண்டு பேரின் சமுதாயத்தையுமே தொடர்புபடுத்துகிறது.

ஒருவரது பாரம்பரியமும், மற்றவரது பாரம்பரியமும் வெவ்வேறாக இருக்கும் சூழ்நிலையில் எதிர்காலத்தில் பல்வேறு சிக்கல்கள் எழலாம். எனவே அவற்றை காதலர்கள் நன்கு சிந்தித்து திருமண முடிவை எடுக்க வேண்டும்.

காதலிக்கும்போது காதலரிடம் இருக்கும் நல்ல குணங்கள் மட்டுமே நமக்குத் தெரிகிறது. அவரது கோபம், ஆளுமைத் தன்மையைக் கூட நாம் அப்போது ரசித்திருப்போம். ஆனால், திருமணத்திற்குப் பின்னர் தீய குணங்களை மட்டுமே பார்க்கும் நிலை ஏற்பட்டுவிடுகிறது. அதனால் தான் பல காதல் திருமணங்கள் விவாகரத்தில் போய் முடிகிறது. காதலர்கள் நன்கு பக்குவப்பட்டு, தங்களது குடும்பத்தினரின் ஒப்புதலுடன் ஒருவருக்கொருவர் நன்கு புரிந்து கொண்டு திருமண முடிவை எடுக்க வேண்டும்.

காதலை எதிர்க்கும் பெற்றோர்கள் பல சமயங்களில் திருமணம் முடிந்ததும் மனம் மாறி தங்களது பிள்ளைகளை ஏற்றுக் கொள்கின்றனர். ஆனால் அதுவரை இல்லாத பிரச்சினைகள் அப்போதுதான் விஸ்வரூபம் எடுக்கும் என்பது நமக்குத் தெரியாதல்லவா. ஆம், தங்களது திருமணத்தை ஏற்றுக் கொண்ட பெற்றோர் என்ன சொன்னாலும் கேட்டுக் கொள்ள வேண்டிய சூழ்நிலைக்கு மகனோ, மகளோ தள்ளப்படுகிறார்கள். அதனால் தம்பதிகளுக்குள்ளேக் கூட பல மனக்கசப்புகள் உருவாகின்றன.

எனவே எந்த நேரத்திலும் தான் கைப்பிடித்தவரை எந்த காரணத்திற்காகவும், யாருக்காகவும் விட்டுக் கொடுக்காத மனவலிமையை காதலர்கள் பெற்றிருக்க வேண்டியது அவசியம்.

அப்படியே தம்பதிகளுக்குள் எந்த பிரச்சினை எழுந்தாலும் அவர்கள் அதை தனது பெற்றோர்களிடம் சொல்லிக்கூட குறைபட்டுக் கொள்ள இயலாது. ஏனெனில் 'நீ தானேத் தேடிக் கொண்டதுதானே' என்று அவர்கள் நம்மைத்தான் கைகாட்டுவர்.

காதலிக்கும்போதே அவர்களுக்குள் ஏதேனும் கருத்து வேறுபாடு ஏற்பட்டால், காதலித்துவிட்டோம், கண்டிப்பாக அவரைத்தான் திருமணம் செய்து கொள்ள வேண்டும் என்று நினைக்காமல் காதலர்களாகவே பிரிந்து விடுவதும் நல்ல முடிவுதான், ஏனெனில் திருமணத்திற்குப் பின் மன வருத்தம் வந்து நீதிமன்றத்தின் வாயிலில் கணவன் - மனைவியாக பிரியும் நிலைக்குத் தள்ளப்பட வேண்டியதில்லை.

அதனால் காதலிக்கும்போது நல்ல காதலர்களாக இருப்பவர்கள் ஊரே மெச்சும் தம்பதிகளாகவும் இருக்க வேண்டும் என்றால் திருமணத்திற்கு முன்பு குடும்பத்தாருடன் அமர்ந்து பேசி, சிந்தித்து முடிவெடுங்கள். இல்லையேல் பாழாவது வேறு எதுவுமல்ல... உங்கள் வாழ்க்கை.
இதுபற்றி ஒரு நகைச்சுவையும் உண்டு,

அதாவது, திருமணத்திற்குப் பின் காதலன் மாறி விடுவான் என்ற நம்பிக்கையில் இருந்தாள் காதலி.

இப்போது போல் எப்போதும் தனது காதலி இருப்பாள் என்று நம்பினான் காதலன்.

இது இரண்டுமே நடக்கவில்லை என்பதுதான் உ‌ண்மை.